How Do I Get A Writing Mentor?

You don't have to write alone.

I did a critique at a writing conference recently, and when I asked the writer if they had any questions, they had just one: “How do I get a mentor?”

This is a question I’ve gotten a LOT. And I completely understand why people want to know.

Writing is lonely.

Writing is hard.

Writing is uncomfortable.

And when things are lonely, hard and uncomfortable, we want someone to make it better, to show us the way, to help us feel like we belong.

I know. I wanted that too.

So how do you get a mentor?

When I was early in my career, I wondered the same question. Having a mentor, I thought, would make everything so much easier. When I met writers who were published, I longed for one to take me out for coffee and say, “I’m going to be your mentor.”

Alas, that never happened.

But that doesn’t mean I haven’t had mentors along my journey. In fact, if it wasn’t for the mentors in my life, I don’t know that I’d have the career I have today.

Before I explain, let’s look at the definition of mentor. Here’s what Dictionary.com says: “noun 1. a wise and trusted counselor or teacher. 2. an influential senior sponsor or supporter.”

I have had two of these conventional type of mentors, the “wise and trusted counselor or teacher” kind, but neither came to me through a relationship. One I paid and one I won.

I found author Bethany Hegedus through the Writers League of Texas and became her second paid mentee. She has since built up The Writing Barn and Courage to Create, where she continues to mentor writers. I worked with Bethany for three months, which helped me take my manuscript to the next level.

After working with Bethany, I was nominated for the Joan Lowery Nixon Award at a conference given by the Houston chapter of the Society of Children’s Book Writers & Illustrators. It wasn’t the first time I had been in consideration, but that year, I was chosen as one of the winners. My prize was a year of mentorship with the amazing Kathi Appelt, who taught me even more.

These mentorship experiences helped me bridge the learning gap, since I didn’t do creative writing in college and can’t afford an MFA, and I’m grateful for both. But there have been other less conventional mentors who’ve guided my writing journey.

Let’s look at that definition again: “noun 1. a wise and trusted counselor or teacher. 2. an influential senior sponsor or supporter.”

For me, the most important parts of this definition are “wise and trusted” and “supporter”. And I’ve been lucky enough to find wise and trusted supporters in my writing community and beyond. I found them in my critique groups, who guided my ideas and encouraged me to keep going. I found them in my SCBWI chapters, which spread a supportive creator-help-creator community. And I found them in my family, especially my husband who has always been one of my first readers and my biggest cheerleader. I even found them in the many keynote speakers, workshop teachers, conference faculty, craft book authors, creativity bloggers, YouTubers and friends I’ve made on social media, from whom I learned about publishing and how to be a better writer.

All of these people helped me get through the uncertainty and soul-sucking years when I wrote revision after revision and racked up more than 100 rejections from agents—and they still help me today.

Over the last 10 years, I’ve been the Regional Advisor for the Austin chapter of SCBWI, and I’ve tried to give others that same wise and trusted support. I started a mentorship modeled after the Houston chapter’s Joan Lowery Nixon Award, and I’m thrilled that recipients have gone on to find agents and sell books. I started an RA Scholarship that includes a year of career support from me. I also helped members grow critique groups, in the hope that they’d be as much of a support to others as mine were to me. Periodically, I’ve also set challenges for individual members who needed a boost of confidence or just to know that someone cared (one member had been working on her book for 10 years but finally finished when I gave her a deadline).

Doing this has fed me as much as it has helped others. I am grateful to have the opportunity to give back some of what I have gained.

I’ll be retiring as the Austin SCBWI RA at the end of August, but I still want to be a source of trusted support (I don’t know about wise, but I try ;) ) to other writers.

So that’s why I’ve started this Substack. (I also used to love blogging, but haven’t had as much time lately, so I’m excited to start it back up.) Schedule permitting, I plan to do a post a week with writing and publishing tips, inspiration, and challenges to keep you and me moving forward in our long and winding creative journeys.

Writing is lonely, hard and uncomfortable, but mentorship can come in many forms and together we can make it better. I hope you’ll join me for my journey and let me be part of yours.

Happy writing!

Samantha